you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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