no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
