He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
