I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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