The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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