I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
