I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
