and my herpes radar will keep us safe
birth control should be required to get into college
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
