i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize