According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize