Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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