Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
