Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The adults are the big ones right?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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