What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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