You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize