im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
