I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
