My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
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