I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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