i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
