I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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