i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
