when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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