The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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