I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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