I heard we made out
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
