This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
