i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Can I color on your dick again?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
