That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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