This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
