Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
