so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
