idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
