Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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