I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
