they said they heard you say put it in my butt
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
