dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
