just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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