just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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