Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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