you turned your livingroom into a bong?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
