yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
40s are totally the cure
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
