Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
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