do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
only you would photoshop your dick
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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