I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
