Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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