Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
kristin has been a bad kristin
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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