You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
