ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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