This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
