he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
