she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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