out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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