i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
